"Perfectionism is defined as a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable" (Herbert, 2011)
Perfectionism can be a good thing, but turns into a bad thing when it takes over the thought process of the student. "perfectionism is essential for advancement and reaching one’s maximum potential and only acquires negative connotations when it also includes the need to dominate other" (Anderson & Martin, 2018).
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Self-Oriented Perfectionism:"Individuals who establish high personal standards for themselves, and measure themselves according to those standards, often highly critical of their efforts and products" (Herbert, 2011).
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What to do to Support!!
Counseling: This is important for any student struggling internally with something that is hard to explain or heal. Being able to talk it out with someone your child trusts and be able to work through ways that can help them readjust their mindset can have very positive effects. "Counseling groups focusing on giftedness can be formed at any grade level, but may be specifically effective when implemented at the middle school level to help students cope with achievement/affiliation conflicts and provide educational and career guidance" (Moon, n.d.).
Be Understanding: Do not put so much pressure on them that is already adding to the pressure they put on themselves. "Understand that a student may be gifted in math, but may struggle with English. Be cognizant of the language used to discuss their challenges in other subject areas. Be candid, be authentic, be sensitive" (Anderson & Martin, 2018).
Make Failure a Teachable Moment: Mistakes are proof that their is learning and effort occurring. It should not always be labeled as a bad thing or punished but as something to grow from the next time. "When students do not meet expectations, or have an experience with failure, make it a teachable moment where they learn from the experience rather than being defined by the experience" (Anderson & Martin, 2018).
Provide the Shine: Allow your child to show off their knowledge and what they are good at. Do not just focus on the academics and stress on the subject or topic your child is struggling in. "Provide opportunities for students to “shine” and do well, which can provide self-confidence and increase self-efficacy" (Anderson & Martin, 2018).
Set Realistic Goals: "Children who struggle with perfectionism benefit from realistic goals that focus on improvement and/or progress over perfection. It would be beneficial to take the goal setting one step further by helping the child map out incremental steps and set times to check in and take a peek at the progress being made" (2022). Setting goals that can be reached and having that be the focus can really take the emphasis off of being perfect or not good enough and put it back on just improving and having students do their best.
Be Understanding: Do not put so much pressure on them that is already adding to the pressure they put on themselves. "Understand that a student may be gifted in math, but may struggle with English. Be cognizant of the language used to discuss their challenges in other subject areas. Be candid, be authentic, be sensitive" (Anderson & Martin, 2018).
Make Failure a Teachable Moment: Mistakes are proof that their is learning and effort occurring. It should not always be labeled as a bad thing or punished but as something to grow from the next time. "When students do not meet expectations, or have an experience with failure, make it a teachable moment where they learn from the experience rather than being defined by the experience" (Anderson & Martin, 2018).
Provide the Shine: Allow your child to show off their knowledge and what they are good at. Do not just focus on the academics and stress on the subject or topic your child is struggling in. "Provide opportunities for students to “shine” and do well, which can provide self-confidence and increase self-efficacy" (Anderson & Martin, 2018).
Set Realistic Goals: "Children who struggle with perfectionism benefit from realistic goals that focus on improvement and/or progress over perfection. It would be beneficial to take the goal setting one step further by helping the child map out incremental steps and set times to check in and take a peek at the progress being made" (2022). Setting goals that can be reached and having that be the focus can really take the emphasis off of being perfect or not good enough and put it back on just improving and having students do their best.